100 dollar bill tattto

An Accountant gets home late one night and his wife says, "Where in the hell have you been?"

He replies, "I was out getting a tattoo."

"A tattoo?" she frowned. "What kind of tattoo did you get?"

"I got a hundred dollar bill tattooed on my privates", he said proudly.
"What the hell were you thinking?" she said, shaking her head in disdain. "Why on earth would an accountant get a hundred dollar bill tattooed on his privates?!"

"Well,
one, I like to watch my money grow;
Two, once in awhile I like to play with my money;
Three, I like how money feels in my hand; and lastly -

Instead of you going out shopping on the weekend, you can stay right here at home and blow a hundred bucks any time you want!"